Yesterday  was a sad day for me. My elder sister Sreedevi Anterjanam (81) passed away after a brief illness at her house Veetiyot near Perambra, in Kozhikode district, Kerala in the evening of 28th March. I wanted to go, but could not as no flight was available at that time. The cremation and rituals were over by midnight, as the body could not be kept for much more time. Almost all other relations were present including her son and daughters.

It is not the first time that this happened. My mother, two of my elder brothers and elder sister – all passed away after  I had shifted to Delhi in 1991 having been elected as the All India President / General Secretary of the union. But somehow, I could reach in the above instances before the cremation. This time, I could not get a chance even for that. Naturally, I am sad.

Shifting to Delhi has resulted in almost cutting of the  contacts with even close relations. I have not seen some of the children of my nephews and nieces even once, though they have reached the age of 10 to 12 years. I have missed my close comrades and friends who were with me for more than two-three decades in times of joy as well as sorrow. I have missed the many agitations and struggles which I was closely connected when I was in Calicut.  I missed the marriages of many youngsters, whose parents were close friends and wanted my presence. At least now, I want to improve myself on famlily /social relations.

It is the responsibility of an individual to keep both the official/union/business functions and personal relations at the same time. I have almost utterly failed in that. After I came to Delhi, there was only one thought in my mind – to strengthen the union and sort out the issues of the workers. I was so merged in the union activities and tours, that I almost forgot every other thing. I feel sad to think that even once I did not visit the college in Trichy, where my son studied. I had  gone twice or thrice only  to the Engineering College, where my daughter studied. My wife looked after the young children alone while doing her official job also. I am thankful to them  that all of them tolerated my absence and never criticised me.

This is not the case with me alone. Many comrades whom I know have suffered much more for the cause for which  they stood. How many comrades had to sacrifice their lives for the cause or suffer their entire lives? Compared to all the above, my case is nothing even to mention.  I am consoled that my comrades, friends and family understood me and tolerated and helped me. I am thankful to all of them.

I was thinking whether to post this write-up or not,  since this is too personal and emotional. But it came to my mind that many  other comrades  like me  will appreciate that the same thoughts in their minds are expressed by somebody else.